i remember being in like, church or something. or sunday school. or summer camp….the family dinner table. all of the places where i spent my childhood, is what i’m saying. a popular theme that the gatherings at these locations shared was good ol’ christian guilt. guilt that we are making the wrong decisions. guilt that we are making the right decisions. guilt that if we even ponder the thought of making a decision without first consulting the book, the big guy upstairs, or pastor dave, we were headed on the whore bus to eternal damnation.

i don’t want to shit on christian principles because i do actually believe in the teachings of the bible. and the constitution for that matter. two things the majority of christians have maybe actually forgotten exist. but i digress…

i remember always feeling guilty for trusting my instincts because i was taught that all humans were inherently evil and we couldn’t trust our own feelings and thoughts because they were of satan. instead, we had to ask the pastor, or the pope, or our dad what we thought about a situation, or how we were supposed to feel, in order to make the “right” decisions. the god way. the good way, i mean. i guess.

however, at some point in my adult life it became apparent to me that this was a load of bullshit and incredibly lucrative way the church found to not only control the masses but also suck their follower’s savings dry. your heart is telling you that you’re a grown ass adult who is having grown ass feelings about another grown ass adult? better wait till he puts a ring on it before you sleep with him (don’t worry….he’s already banging his secretary on the side. so he’s not missing out. and obvs, patriarchy, breh. his needs are the only ones that matter). you want to give your year end bonus to feed starving children in africa? better make out that check to the church this year, brother, we’re putting a gym in the west wing! you get my point….

i’ve found, in the past few years, that you can call it whatever you want… The universe, god, goddess, buddha, yahweh, he, she, it…. i mean, literally any name you can come up with is probably a name people are using for voice each of us holds inside of our own selves telling us in whatever way necessary what the correct decision is for each of our individual selves. get it? that’s you. listen to what it’s telling you because IT has been inside of YOU this entire time. listen to it, get used to it, and prepare to finally make a decision that will make sense for you. there lies the path you are truly meant to take. there lies your happiness. there ~ inside of you.